By ELSIE EYAKUZE

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And so, the Olympic Games have come to a close, triumphantly. This is the first truly universal global moment of joy that we have pulled off collectively since the Covid-19 pandemic event of 2020 — and yes I am placing them above the 2022 FIFA World Cup in this statement.

Football has its place in expressing our aggressive human id, the Olympics are an expression of our dreams and the collective superego. And speaking of dreams, how wild and delicious was that grandiose spectacle of an opening ceremony the French put on?

Listen: This is why countries absolutely have to fund the arts, social sciences and humanities. An Olympic ceremony is a cultural “text” presented by the host country for our edification and entertainment.

The more you know, the more likely you are to enjoy the experience- or at least have a meaningful time of it. France absolutely blew it out of the water, not least because they brought back disco in a big way and threw a party which we all needed after the challenging beginning the ‘20s.

Read: EYAKUZE: Stay out of Gen Z’s way and we may have an EA worth federating

You know we are hosting Afcon 2027, neh? This. Is. Pressure.

In three years, Tanzania, Kenya and Uganda are going to be inviting our fellow Africans to the neighbourhood for a grand tournament of our favourite game.

Africa is the most deliciously diverse, culturally vibrant, geographically astounding continent on the planet with the biggest collection of distinct polities. What do we plan to offer these our visitors when they get here? Guys, this is serious.

We three Original States have been doing the East African Community project for the longest time. Since the 1967, in fact, if you gloss over the collapse. We have been inextricably yoked together — whether we like it or not — since our early days of independence.

The Pan-African ideal, practice mode. And now we have to coordinate Afcon 2027 and showcase our enviable riches — in people, in craft, in spectacle. To put it bluntly, this is an opportunity we cannot afford to mess up with our usual provincial pettiness and banana-beer nationalisms.

I have a few suggestions. First, we need to keep the guns to a minimum. We share a disappointing obsession with our militaries. Entire PhDs could be written about the phallic anxieties that drive this phenomenon, but for now let me just ask that we please not turn our welcoming events into an excuse to shove military parades at our guests. This is not the 1970s. Let the athletes handle the sweaty displays of might and metaphorical warfare on the pitch, yes?

Next, we need a third party to handle the accounting. No, it cannot be one of us and we all know why. Don’t make me say it.

Finally, the arts and culture. Our governments are impressively insensate- they have, like, zero vibe. However, we the people are dripping with music, dance and rizz. This is where the brokest and most creative group of all — Gen Z- might save us.

Give them the creative jobs, alongside all the directors and historians and dance troupes we have been ignoring for years. If we start sifting through our leadership class now for the youngest politicians and demand they be shoved into the right cabinet positions, we could pull off the baddest Afcon of the 2020s. Here’s to dreaming big for the EAC, and a successful display of togetherness.

Elsie Eyakuze is an independent consultant and blogger for The Mikocheni Report; E-mail: [email protected]