By JOACHIM BUWEMBO

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There is a centuries-old joke about missionaries and preparing to go to the then so-called Dark Continent. One zealous chap was raring to go and his superiors who doubted his preparedness asked him the source of his zeal and confidence. He pulled out a book he claimed to have read from cover to cover titled “How to survive in African Jungles”, to which one superior retorted, “Have the lions also read it?”

Last week, Uganda’s government declared a deadline for oil marketing companies (OMCs) to ensure pump prices are reduced significantly.

The declaration didn’t elicit any anticipatory excitement nor heavy sighs of relief from the public, who were unmoved like the skeptical senior priest who dismissed the ambitious novice missionary trusting rules in a book that the maned, man-eaters in the African jungles hadn’t read.

There are yet no signs that the OMCs have read the pricing guidelines the government issued and expects the public to be excited about.

That explains why I too, despite being both a keen observer and suffering Ugandan motorist, didn’t take note of which date our enthusiastically lovely and lovable Energy minister Ruth Nankabirwa gave the OMCs.

Read: OBBO: What waste reveals about African governments

Poor Ruth has been running up and down for longer than we can remember, since last year, trying to secure affordable fuel to at least run Uganda’s transport sector bearably for the travelers, transporters and the public.

She reminded us of the forgettable deadline, forgettable because our optimism in this matter nosedived a couple of months back when the struggles to get Uganda import its fuel directly succeeded and immediately anti-climaxed with the pump prices rising instead.

The explanation why got too complex for our mortal heads to wrap around it, but there was talk of unexpected new charges imposed by Kenya.

Then the mountain fell. Kiteezi mountain, which had painstakingly taken us two decades to build to an elevation of 1,193 metres near the capital city using domestic and commercial waste generated in Greater Kampala Metropolis, fell down on August 10, burying alive dozens of people, some of whom were still sleeping on that Saturday morning, never to wake up again. Where does the falling mountain connect with the high fuel prices?

As we wait for a full technical report, the waiting vacuum is being filled with persistent speculation that Kiteezi did not just fall due to rain weighing it down but rather, an accumulation of methane gas in the garbage mountain could have exploded, causing an implosion of the man-made wonder. Even if the methane story turns out wildly wrong, it reminded even the illiterate that garbage can explode.

After all spontaneous combustion of organic matter is not new to us, as our people often see a wetland “ignite itself” in the dry season; heard of peat fires? So, garbage can actually burn, and can also be used to generate electricity.

As the Kampala public were still speculating about the cause of the Kiteezi crisis, in came this story that caught wide attention – that Ethiopia had banned diplomats from importing fuel vehicles.

The ban wasn’t even new, it had been on for a couple of months, and last week’s announcement was just a reminder or clarification to diplomatic missions that they too were subject to the nationwide order.

Read: BUWEMBO: If only Kampala bosses had paid heed to advice...

So how can Ethiopia, landlocked like Uganda, afford to say, “to hell with imported fuel!”? Simple, they generate a lot of electricity, some of it from garbage, which they are intentionally purposing for phasing out fossil fuel.

So, Africa’s urban authorities can stop seeing garbage as a problem of lacking dumping space, and receive it as an opportunity to solve two huge problems – congestion and pollution.

Fortunately for Uganda, nearly all these matters fall under one portfolio – Energy! It is actually possible for all big African cities to use garbage for generating electricity to clean, power and decongest transport.

Cities like Kampala that are building flyovers can as well do elevated rails and viaducts over existing roads, avoiding compensating land owners or speculators, and power clean trains using garbage-generated electricity. Do African leaders ever wonder why their ever-willing lenders don’t make this suggestion?

Electric railways would not only clean up Africa’s fouled air but also drastically cut down the petroleum imports. Kampala’s garbage according to studies can generate 20MW to 30 MW of electricity.

The Kampala Capital City Authority can thus install as many car charge stations, charging the lowest fee in the world for personal cars and passenger service vehicles. That way, even if Sister Ruth’s Oil Marketing Lions don’t read her pricing guidelines, the citizens don’t have to be stressed as they glide across Kampala in clean, quiet e-trains and buses.