By JOACHIM BUWEMBO

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You may have heard about the latest presidential swearing-in ceremony in Kampala, attended virtually by all East Africa’s presidents. But swearing things did not stop there.

In our country of 45 million people, we elect over one and half million leaders, making us one of the world’s most led nations at one leader per 29 led.

After the president, it was the turn for 529 MPs to swear — the same number as India’s MPs whose population is 30 times bigger than Uganda’s. After the MPs it was swearing bonanza for the local government leaders, down to the councillor you rub shoulders with daily, except, maybe, when he is avoiding you over some small debt.

The local leaders’ swearing ceremonies are the climax of the party as they close the whole thing off with bleeding tongues bitten in attempts to pronounce the English text of the oath, much to the amusement of the public.

A visitor may think all Ugandan leaders take on the name Solomon, be they male or female. No, they are trying to say “solemnly swear”. I think the English text was kept all the years after Independence to give even those disappointed with the election results something to laugh about and lift their spirits.

But what are the consequences of having an over-led country? In Uganda’s case, it delays the healing the cancer of tribalism, which we all deny in public and curse in small… yes, tribal groups.

Over the years, we have been breaking the country into smaller administrative units, based basically on tribal groupings. At Independence 58 years ago, we had 17 districts, which we have multiplied eight times to135. Though the district “multipliers” say the population has also grown eight times, Uganda’s land has not increased even by one acre. Even that acre of rock called Migingo was successfully claimed by Kenya.

To symbolise how Ugandans are retreating deeper into pre-colonial community groupings, last weekend after the swearing season had kicked off, the first book ever to be written in an unknown language — Lukooki (of the Bakooki people) was published and launched. From an academic viewpoint, it was laudable exercise, having a book written in a language spoken by ten or less people — basically those who worked on the project.

The genetic Bakooki are many, but their ancestors’ kingdom of Kooki surrendered to Buganda Kingdom 125 years ago when Buganda itself was busy surrendering to Uganda. The only Bakooki who know Lukooki are the handful history researchers whose dead language revival project is financed by the government.

The Lukooki project would for example surprise Tanzanians who, when radio was liberalised, were prohibited from broadcasting in any tribal language — only Kiswahili and English. Only the Maasai were allowed to have their language on air in their area. But well, Uganda is not Tanzania. Somehow, we think we shall achieve national cohesion this way. If you want to win a seat in 2026 in Kooki constituencies, why not buy that new book and start practising now?

But when our tribally dominated districts are hiring manpower in pursuit of the decentralisation policy, no prize for guessing what the basic qualification is — ethnic identity. We also have a new policy which was obscured by Covid-19 pandemic — primary education to be conducted in mother tongue. So if you intended to settle in another district but have young children, you may have them in a school if the policy is pursued post-Covid.

Anyway, the heavy dose of elected leaders has a more poisonous effect — the entrenchment of incompetence in public service delivery. Citizens would say no to incompetence if the direct beneficiaries were few. But how when at least three million people are seeking office basically because of the privileges and “opportunities”?

There is even little discernible connection between the voters’ choice of candidates and their welfare/economic aspirations. There has been talk that the ruling, re-elected NRM party lost Busoga region because of the collapse of sugarcane prices — in three years a tonne of cane fell from $50 to $20, though in reality you can only get $10 from a “connected” person who will sell to the factory at the $20.

Sugarcane failure is a marketing failure but guess what— the minister who has been in charge of co-operatives for an uninterrupted five years comes from the small enclave in Busoga that voted for NRM. It means that his being co-operatives minister or defence minister is irrelevant to his voters, so they rewarded him, like his boss who kept him in the co-operatives job for five years.

Strange? If you don’t understand how we do our things in Uganda, take heart- I too do not understand.

Joachim Buwembo is a Kampala-based journalist. E-mail:[email protected]