My Gal Joyce Banda says: When you’re a beggar, don’t dress up like a prince...

Joyce Banda, who became president of Malawi recently, succeeding Bingu wa Mutharika, is a girl after my very own, only she will never know. In our ancient cultural setting we would be saying that the woman is a “real man,” meaning a person with the courage to state what she believes and damn the consequences, and stand her ground no matter the odds stacked against her.

We saw the way she stood up to her predecessor, Bingu, who, having chosen her as running mate and thereafter vice-president, attempted to sideline her in the succession race, preferring his own younger brother, Peter. My gal refused to budge, and when she was evicted from her party leadership slot, quit the party altogether, registered her own party and still stayed put as the country’s number two even as she was in the opposition. Just my kind of girl.

It is not very difficult to imagine what went on between the president and his vice president during those bitter months of acrimonious cohabitation. There was really nothing that Bingu could do to jettison his irksome deputy because the Constitution did not allow him to get rid of the person who had been elected alongside him, on the same ticket. So he sulked and growled, and allowed his cronies to insult, humiliate and intimidate her, but Joyce responded with a healthy measure of disdain and continued with her work, biding her time, until the day when Bingu was called upon to go meet the Great Wizard.

Having defeated all attempts to block her succession, the Great Lady of Lilongwe strode majestically into State House and proceeded to make her presence felt by hiring and firing and generally making people take note of her arrival.

But probably the most radical step she has taken so far, is her recent decision to dump the presidential plane and a fleet of luxurious motor vehicles as part of her austerity measures. This has earned her plaudits among donor nations and agencies, especially as they grapple with austerity issues of their own caused by the crisis in the Eurozone.

Which brings to the fore the issue of economic crises and the measures required to counter them or to limit their effects on people’s lives. Indeed, if economic crises call for austerity measures, wouldn’t our respective countries be in the forefront of imposing austerity measures, cutting costs, slashing luxury items and generally tightening our rulers’ — not the people’s — belts, seeing as we have never known a period of non-crisis since we were born as nations?

At a time when we are witnessing capitalist governments taking socialist measures to rescue their floundering economies, maybe we of the permanent economic crises should be revisiting Das Kapital and the Communist Manifesto? We may not be there just yet, but at least we could begin by following the logic of Joyce Banda’ most recent action: When you are a beggar, don’t behave like a prince. The donors are already noticing and queuing up before her with open chequebooks.

But that is a lesson that many African rulers will take a long time to ingest because the temptation to spend other people’s money is too great for our rulers to resist. That is why we are treated to the ridiculous spectacle of politicians and government officials dressing like pop stars and driving glitzy Beverly Hills style cars that would make Kanye West green with envy. I wish they could at least sing something.

I’m serious. If people want to be superstars they better be superstars, at least try to be. They could do a few Karaoke sessions during which they could belt out lines like “Love me tender” or “When a man loves a woman.” That way, we would suffer them to dress like stage lovers and scoot around in dreamland jalopies.

Otherwise, we should all take a tip from Ma Banda, the new girl on the block: Just make sense.